Why I Could Never Be "The Mistress": A Review of Olivia M. Lamasan's 2012 Hit (sort of) 4 comments

Consider me naive, or inexperienced, or too full of myself, too proud, maybe, or too feminist, possibly, but I could never understand the reasons and the thought process (if that even exists in situations like these) that goes on when people decide that, "This is it, I agree to be The Mistress."

The Kabit. The Number Two. The Third Party. The Home Wrecker.

The Glorified Whore.

I may be insulting a lot of people (even persons that I do know personally) but I honestly, sincerely, do not understand. I cannot grasp why men and women enter into these kinds of relationships when they know they are hurting and stepping on another human being's feelings and destroying a peaceful relationship, if not a family.

See, romance-wise, I live with this principle: "If he cheats WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Smack me with all the reasons in your artillery of excuses but this line really makes sense to me. It goes like this.

The fact that he is willing to be unfaithful to the woman he has said "I love you" to just that morning while he is preparing to meet up with you that night to make passionate coitus just goes to show what kind of person he is. A cheating liar. An untrustworthy lover. Do you really want to attach yourself with that kind of person? Really, now. Do you hate yourself that much?

And I'm not vilifying the men, it goes for both sexes. Just reverse the pronouns.

Maybe I'm being immature. Or possibly even too mature for today's Id-satisfying society. I just do not understand. If any of you can explain it to me, please feel free to do so.

Olivia M. Lamasan's masterpiece tackles this kind of conundrum our society knows too well. Unnervingly well, that this is bound to be a blockbuster (if it isn't already) and will no doubt pinch a nerve in a large percentage of movie-goers. Whether the benefactor, the legal wife, the lover or the mistress, everybody who has been in this kind of situation will be able to relate to the sharp piercing dialogue that says what people in those relationships desperately need to hear. 

What I liked the best about this film, aside from the flawless performances of all the lead actors and the stellar script, is the complexity of its characters. There is no black nor white, no evil antagonist nor holy protagonist. 

It shows Bea Alonzo's "Sari" as a lola-bathing-perfect-ate with a dark secret and John Lloyd's "JD" as a charismatic playboy with I'm-not-Dad's-favorite issue. Meanwhile, Ronaldo Valdez's "Rico Torres" is the slightly perverted (eww the bed scenes, wth) CEO of a multi-million family who apparently loves his family but cannot stop from taking in various mistresses. And lastly, Hilda Koronel's "Regina Torres" is the alcohol-friendly legal wife who just takes it all in.

The script is superb if not for the climax that I predicted 15 minutes into the movie. But then I can't remember the last time a local film's ending managed to completely surprise me so it's not a big deal. There was a couple of confrontation scenes that just stole the whole show and I was grateful that they didn't skirt around the things that needed to be said and images needed to be seen.

Try as hard as I might, however, I cannot feel sorry for The Mistress's character even in her most trying and humiliating times. I just feel like, a woman like that is not stupid, she definitely knew what she was getting into. Given, she got attached and developed real strong feelings for an old rich man who may or may not be using her just for sex and companionship but what made her enter that kind of agreement in the first place?

"Walang babaeng pinangarap maging kabit!" 

Then why are there so many of them stuck in the same circumstances over and over again? See, in the middle of the fire, one can simply blame uncontrollable feelings but I'm pretty sure in the beginning, the feelings weren't that hard to block, if only people were determined to do so.

Feel free to establish how juvenile my views are if you must, that I have no credibility to say any of these things because I haven't been in these kinds of situation and felt the turmoil of such complexity. Maybe, maybe not.

I have been asked, multiple times, both jokingly and in semi-seriousness under the guise of innuendos, by very eligible in-a-relationship bachelors if I'd be willing to "be Number 2-3" and my answer was a resounding, without a second thought, no.

Personally, I think it all boils down to this. From Stephen Chbosky's Perks of Being A Wallflower,  this quote said it best.

"...we accept the love we think we deserve."

Of half-baked promises, stolen hours in the dead of the evening, saved number and messages in "the other phone", whispered phone conversations, scheduled meetings at random faraway places, the secrecy and the deceit.

If you think that is all that you deserve, then, by all means, go and be someone's mistress.

33rd Manila International Book Fair 2012 2 comments

For someone who has consumed books like daily vitamins for the past 13 years, how ironic it is that this is the first time I've attended the MIBF when they've been doing this for 33 years. Stalls and rows after rows of shelves filled with countless books of all shapes, colors and genres. I felt like (and the cliche goes) a kid in a candy store.

I had 3 goals in coming to the book fair. Not all of them were met but I did have a great time browsing through expensive-looking glossy covers and gawking at rare local published works I wouldn't be able to find in any local friendly red and white logo-ed bookstore.

First goal was to meet and greet and have the typical fangirl book-signing-and-picture with the resident internet Pogi Guy and my current brain crush Mr. Ramon Bautista (search the hilarious Tales From The Friend Zone videos on youtube and you will be hooked!) who I knew will be there at the PSICOM booth promoting his new book "Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo" together with Stanley Chi and Tado. Of course, me and book buddy Epi (who blogs at  http://soksay.blogspot.com/ ) arrived too late with already a bunch of other fans in line for autographs and picture taking and no more book copies available. I did get to take a picture of them having pictures with other people. I guess that's the closest thing I'll get to being a fangirl. Must photoshop these pics soon.

Looong line to Tado, Stanley Chi and Ramon Bautista's book signing table.

Second goal was to find some unique designs for bookmarks. Since I'm not fond of reading physical paper and ink books because I have to hold them with both hands and get up and switch off the lights before going to sleep as compared to just turning off the iPad (how lazy is that?) I was interested in getting my hands on some unique bookmarks design like those magnetic ones I found in National Bookstore a few years ago (yes, that’s how long I’ve been reading paperless). Disappointingly, for a huge international book fair, in grand SMX of all places, we only saw one stall selling them and I didn’t even like the designs available.

Third was to find and purchase unique contemporary Filipino works because, honestly, I can't find them anywhere online. ;) But, seriously, I've developed this interest in literature written in English but based on Philippine society etc. and, no doubt, the UP Publishing booth won this category, hands down.

It's not much and I know people who have bought a lot more but in my defense, there wasn't a lot to choose from based on my detailed specifications and with the amount of religion/gospel books taking up half of the space inside the convention center, well, let's just say those stalls were automatically out of my to-browse list. Anyway, here are the 3 books I managed to buy from my first ever book fair attendance.

MIBF Book Haul 2012:

100 by UP Writer's Club - 100 literary works by UP college students (I'm guessing), all within 100 words "expressing kilig to kirot and all points in between". What a word goldmine. Glad we went back to the UP stall or else I wouldn't be able to buy this precious thing.

Beautiful Accidents by Ian Rosales Casocot - Short stories about Filipino modern life written in free-flowing English. Exactly what I was looking for. And isn't that cover just plain gorgeous?

A Hundred and One Reasons by Bianca Salindog - A 20-something Registered Nurse who has managed to published her own novel. Sounds exactly my dream. :)

All in all, it was a thrilling and refreshing afternoon to be surrounded by printed words, glossy covers, star-striking authors but, most of all, by fellow book lovers roving the store like drug addicts  in need of their latest pharmacological fix. Why this is the very first time I went to an event like this is still a mystery to me.

Top 7 Ways To NOT Get The Girl 1 comments

7. Don't have a sense of humor. Or have a sense of humor of a 5-year-old, unless of course the girl you're courting share the same level of comedy appreciation. Girls generally gravitate towards people who can make them laugh because  who wouldn't want to be with a person who have the capacity to make one laugh-out-loud happy?

Second, the quality of a man's humor is a reflection of how his brain works. And, personally, nothing is sexier than wit and a complex mind. But then, if a girl really likes you from the beginning, she will probably laugh at your most pathetic attempts on trying to be the next stand up comedian. :)

6. Dump all your life problems on the girl 5 minutes after knowing her name. It's basically the same with No.7 Be Fun To Be With rule. If the girl you like is not your best friend / only confidante (I'm talking about real BFFs and not the I-just-met-you-but-I-don't-know-how-to-court-you-so-I'll-just-pretend-to-be-your-"best-friend"-that-way-I-get-to-be-close-to-you-until-I-figure-out-how-to-grow-some-balls-and-officially-ask-you-out) there is no need to tell her every detail of your sad, heart-breaking, MMK-story-of-the-year existence. 

In movies, this technique works infallibly inside gloomy bars  with advice-giving bartenders but I don't think it works that well with normal happy people who just want to live life without having a near stranger's problem weighing them down.

5. Equate every material thing you own as a primary component to your worth as a person. Yes, you have a car and it's very shiny. Your smartphone is the latest model there is and is worth a full year's tuition fee of an elementary student. You can buy branded everything but what you cannot buy with your money is a woman's love. Yes, it's an enormous plus to have the bucks to spend for a woman, but in the end, it's not the number of three-headed bills in your wallet that we look at. Also, in a guy's perspective, you wouldn't want to reel in a hot gold-digger who only cares about your money and the expensive gifts you can give her, would you?

4. Complain about the simplest of things on Facebook, Twitter and other networking sites. Same goes with posting direct attacks or parinig to people who may be rubbing you the wrong way. Not only does it says "I'm a war freak, hear me roar!", it also implies that you will also be announcing to the world every misunderstanding and argument you may will potentially have in the future if you and her get into a relationship. 

3. Have God-Awful Hygiene. Does this really have to be explained?

2. Feign confidence. I don't know about other girls but I can smell fake confidence the moment a guy opens his mouth. Every how-to in dating will say that one should have self-esteem, however, the problem with trying to imitate confidence when one doesn't really have much of it is that the person end up sounding arrogant instead of self-assured. Another quality no girl in the entire archipelago (and the world for that matter) is attracted to. 

1. Text or private message comments such as "Mwah mwah" or "Tabi tayo matulog" when it's NOT being  reciprocated. Same thing with touchy-feely akbays and hand-holding on first dates when the girl is obviously squirming away from you. 

I will tell you the truth. That diskarte exclusively works to the fortunate few men who can carry the brazenly direct, slightly perverted kind of flirting. And honestly speaking, if you don't look or act the part in real life, do NOT attempt this style of courtship. Ever. It's tacky, it's icky, and... just don't do it. 

But of course, if the girl looks interested, then landi away. :)

---

I don't really know why I did this post in the first place because, in the end, if a girl likes you, then every corny, perverted and/or disgusting atom in your body will probably be overlooked and  could be even found attractive. Some guys just have it good, I guess. I know some who just exudes charm and appeal effortlessly, even those who aren't as physically and aesthetically gifted as you would expect them to be. 

For those who are not as lucky... there are always girls who may be attracted to you, ironically however, these are the ones you are not attracted to.

And here, ladies and gents, revolves the cruel cycle of singledom.

Photo Credits: There is a love by fogke (from Devianart.com)

Scrub Suits and Sogo: How I Survived the "Habagat" Great Flood 5 comments

Marikina River 2 days post Habagat

Okay, so let's pretend it's still August and I haven't completely abandoned this blog for more than a month now. As you get your bearings on what month this is supposed to be, I will also pretend that I'm working on my beloved 14" Lenovo Ideapad laptop with his wonderful clicky keyboard and not on my sister's 11" netbook with horrible Asus cramped keys. See, my ever so loyal laptop have been struck down with a nasty bug that has rendered him useless especially for type-heavy functions like writing this post. No virus scan / anti-malware program have detected anything so I now have to wipe these sentimental tears off my face and reformat the entire thing and start from scratch. So help me God.

Anyway, back to the Great Flood that has yet again brought Metro Manila to a standstill. 

MONDAY

I was having my graveyard duty (10PM-6AM) at the hospital the night of August 6, 2012. There was already gutter deep flood on my way out of our subdivision but never did I expect the rain to continue like it was the biblical times all over again. Throughout the shift we could hear the relentless heavy downpour from outside and I already got the feeling that I won't be able to go home the next day since we admittedly live in the freaking flood capital of the East.

TUESDAY

Come endorsement time, our main concern was that will there be nurses to endorse to. Amazingly almost all of them made it to the hospital, wet trousers and all. C'mon, a round of applause, people. These were the ones who have braved the floods just to see to it that patients are taken care of. Not all wards were that fortunate though. I know of some nurses who had to extend their shift to 16 straight hours. All in the name of health care, of course. 

All of the elective cases in the OR have been deferred because of the rains and flooding so it was a happy day for the morning shift. Us, night shift nurses, were a different story. Numerous calls later from home and a glance at local morning news (Marikina River drowning everything in sight!), it was obvious that there was no way any of us will be able to get home without being stranded somewhere. We then decided to just stay in the hospital until our next graveyard shift and try to get home the next day.

After spending some time in a local carinderia in front of the hospital for breakfast and some news-watching and shopping for toiletries and other essentials at the local market we went back to the hospital to get some much needed rest. Believe me when I say that the extra scrub suits in the hospital were life savers and having 2 uniforms (white and our own scrubs) were an unbelievable advantage that time. Without these extra clothes, we would be stuck with a single uniform all throughout our stranded period. Little did I know that for me, it would mean most of the rest of the week.

WEDNESDAY

Another 10-6 shift has ended. Floods have subsided in most areas and rains have stopped in the metro. All my shift-mates / stranded-mates have decided that they will take the risk of acquiring Leptospirosis just to get home. I was no exception. I disregarded the warnings from home that the main roads and more importantly, subdivision entrances were still impassable. Lagpas Tao / Hanggang Dibdib type of impassable. But I persisted.

Needless to say, I got as far as the junction in the Sta. Lucia Mall / Tropical Hut intersection. All the roads from there on were flooded. The picture above was the entrance road to Marikina. And even those going to Antipolo/Cogeo area were knee deep in water. And do I even need to mention the Waterworld that is Cainta?

With nowhere to go, I waited near the entrance of Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall hoping to be able to crash in an air-conditioned restaurant while waiting for the floods to subside. Plus, I really needed to buy a contact lense case for my lenses which I've been wearing for more than 48 hours. I wasn't able to sleep at all in the hospital because of them. I managed to soak them in sterile water for a couple of hours but since I didn't have my glasses with me, I had to put them back on because I couldn't really see anything without them.

It was already past 11 AM and the mall was still closed. They opened it a few minutes later but when I entered, there was almost no customers and half of the shops were still locked up. Thank heavens Executive Optical opened that day.

Since I already have a case and solution for my contact lenses and could finally sleep without worrying of being forever blind upon waking up, after calling home and determining that the flood was not going down any time soon, we decided that it's better if I just checked-in in the friendly neighborhood hotel standing conspicuously in front of the mall in its red and yellow glory. The Sogo Hotel.

Any concern of mine regarding the, uhm, reputation of the said hotel chain evaporated the second I stepped inside the lobby. There were people, and surprisingly, kids everywhere. Throngs of families milled around the place watching the news on the large screen at the lobby, looking up at the sky for signs of more rain and talking on cellphones asking if they could already make their way home. It was like an Upper-Middle Class Evacuation Center. With entrance fees, of course.

After a few minutes of waiting, I fortunately got the cheapest room available. To my handy dandy credit card, I'm sorry I ever doubted your usefulness. Without you I would be stuck in the streets like The Script's The Man that Can't Be Moved, although in a sleepier and less emo version. The room was not bad at all, fairly clean, although I would drop dead before I step inside the bathroom without slippers on. After 48 hours of no lasting sleep, the huge bed was heaven on earth.

I woke up at around 5PM, officially famished for being NPO (nurse's fancy way of saying no food nor drinks) since that morning's breakfast. After calling home and discovering that I had no choice but to extend my stay in the hotel to overnight since roads were still impassable, I decided to go back and shop for food and additional clothes at the mall. Good thing I went there early because minutes later, the sky was again in a grumpy mood and stores left and right were closing early in fear of another bout of heavy rains. 

I tried to look for restaurants that would accept credit card because I was already running low on cash but there was none so I had to spend my last remaining hundreds for a cheeseburger value meal and ate it back at my room. All in all, it was not a bad existence. It definitely could have been worse. I was all alone and couldn't get home but I was safely inside a hotel room with a dependable cable tv, bathroom with hot shower, a/c unit and that trademark red light which made me sleepy for some reason. This was being stranded in style.

THURSDAY

Woke up to the sound of my cellphone ringing bearing the news that the roads were still flooded but can now be treaded without drowning even if one does not know how to swim. There were also jeepneys already who were having trips up to the flooded areas so people didn't have to walk all the way, just from those places where only the most enduring of legs and Islander slippers would survive. It was time to go home.

It was 3 days after the climax of the torrential rains but still the flood in our area was still this prevalent. I came prepared with my rolled up pajama-ish scrub suit bottom, black shirt and scrunched up hair ready for battle. We in the East were so used to floods like these it was like a kamot-ulo moment instead of a devastating terrifying one to be honest.

Posh executive subdivision submerged in water.

Start of our exodus back home.

Starting from this point, we needed to embrace the Leptospirosis and feel the muddy water and unidentified floating debris enveloping our legs. Being 5'5, the water reached just below buttocks area, still unbelievably high three days after the rain. And this was on the main roads. The subdivisions were no doubt much worse.

To make the long story short, after treading thigh deep flood, getting in a dump truck full of stranded residents looking for an easier way home, walking again a short distance to our subdivision  and riding a pedicab worth 40 php per person because of the still chest deep floods, at around 12:45PM, after 4 unbelievable days, I was home.

I, literally, hugged our gate.