Top 7 Ways To NOT Get The Girl

7. Don't have a sense of humor. Or have a sense of humor of a 5-year-old, unless of course the girl you're courting share the same level of comedy appreciation. Girls generally gravitate towards people who can make them laugh because  who wouldn't want to be with a person who have the capacity to make one laugh-out-loud happy?

Second, the quality of a man's humor is a reflection of how his brain works. And, personally, nothing is sexier than wit and a complex mind. But then, if a girl really likes you from the beginning, she will probably laugh at your most pathetic attempts on trying to be the next stand up comedian. :)

6. Dump all your life problems on the girl 5 minutes after knowing her name. It's basically the same with No.7 Be Fun To Be With rule. If the girl you like is not your best friend / only confidante (I'm talking about real BFFs and not the I-just-met-you-but-I-don't-know-how-to-court-you-so-I'll-just-pretend-to-be-your-"best-friend"-that-way-I-get-to-be-close-to-you-until-I-figure-out-how-to-grow-some-balls-and-officially-ask-you-out) there is no need to tell her every detail of your sad, heart-breaking, MMK-story-of-the-year existence. 

In movies, this technique works infallibly inside gloomy bars  with advice-giving bartenders but I don't think it works that well with normal happy people who just want to live life without having a near stranger's problem weighing them down.

5. Equate every material thing you own as a primary component to your worth as a person. Yes, you have a car and it's very shiny. Your smartphone is the latest model there is and is worth a full year's tuition fee of an elementary student. You can buy branded everything but what you cannot buy with your money is a woman's love. Yes, it's an enormous plus to have the bucks to spend for a woman, but in the end, it's not the number of three-headed bills in your wallet that we look at. Also, in a guy's perspective, you wouldn't want to reel in a hot gold-digger who only cares about your money and the expensive gifts you can give her, would you?

4. Complain about the simplest of things on Facebook, Twitter and other networking sites. Same goes with posting direct attacks or parinig to people who may be rubbing you the wrong way. Not only does it says "I'm a war freak, hear me roar!", it also implies that you will also be announcing to the world every misunderstanding and argument you may will potentially have in the future if you and her get into a relationship. 

3. Have God-Awful Hygiene. Does this really have to be explained?

2. Feign confidence. I don't know about other girls but I can smell fake confidence the moment a guy opens his mouth. Every how-to in dating will say that one should have self-esteem, however, the problem with trying to imitate confidence when one doesn't really have much of it is that the person end up sounding arrogant instead of self-assured. Another quality no girl in the entire archipelago (and the world for that matter) is attracted to. 

1. Text or private message comments such as "Mwah mwah" or "Tabi tayo matulog" when it's NOT being  reciprocated. Same thing with touchy-feely akbays and hand-holding on first dates when the girl is obviously squirming away from you. 

I will tell you the truth. That diskarte exclusively works to the fortunate few men who can carry the brazenly direct, slightly perverted kind of flirting. And honestly speaking, if you don't look or act the part in real life, do NOT attempt this style of courtship. Ever. It's tacky, it's icky, and... just don't do it. 

But of course, if the girl looks interested, then landi away. :)

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I don't really know why I did this post in the first place because, in the end, if a girl likes you, then every corny, perverted and/or disgusting atom in your body will probably be overlooked and  could be even found attractive. Some guys just have it good, I guess. I know some who just exudes charm and appeal effortlessly, even those who aren't as physically and aesthetically gifted as you would expect them to be. 

For those who are not as lucky... there are always girls who may be attracted to you, ironically however, these are the ones you are not attracted to.

And here, ladies and gents, revolves the cruel cycle of singledom.

Photo Credits: There is a love by fogke (from Devianart.com)