Why I Could Never Be "The Mistress": A Review of Olivia M. Lamasan's 2012 Hit (sort of) 4 comments

Consider me naive, or inexperienced, or too full of myself, too proud, maybe, or too feminist, possibly, but I could never understand the reasons and the thought process (if that even exists in situations like these) that goes on when people decide that, "This is it, I agree to be The Mistress."

The Kabit. The Number Two. The Third Party. The Home Wrecker.

The Glorified Whore.

I may be insulting a lot of people (even persons that I do know personally) but I honestly, sincerely, do not understand. I cannot grasp why men and women enter into these kinds of relationships when they know they are hurting and stepping on another human being's feelings and destroying a peaceful relationship, if not a family.

See, romance-wise, I live with this principle: "If he cheats WITH you, he will cheat ON you." Smack me with all the reasons in your artillery of excuses but this line really makes sense to me. It goes like this.

The fact that he is willing to be unfaithful to the woman he has said "I love you" to just that morning while he is preparing to meet up with you that night to make passionate coitus just goes to show what kind of person he is. A cheating liar. An untrustworthy lover. Do you really want to attach yourself with that kind of person? Really, now. Do you hate yourself that much?

And I'm not vilifying the men, it goes for both sexes. Just reverse the pronouns.

Maybe I'm being immature. Or possibly even too mature for today's Id-satisfying society. I just do not understand. If any of you can explain it to me, please feel free to do so.

Olivia M. Lamasan's masterpiece tackles this kind of conundrum our society knows too well. Unnervingly well, that this is bound to be a blockbuster (if it isn't already) and will no doubt pinch a nerve in a large percentage of movie-goers. Whether the benefactor, the legal wife, the lover or the mistress, everybody who has been in this kind of situation will be able to relate to the sharp piercing dialogue that says what people in those relationships desperately need to hear. 

What I liked the best about this film, aside from the flawless performances of all the lead actors and the stellar script, is the complexity of its characters. There is no black nor white, no evil antagonist nor holy protagonist. 

It shows Bea Alonzo's "Sari" as a lola-bathing-perfect-ate with a dark secret and John Lloyd's "JD" as a charismatic playboy with I'm-not-Dad's-favorite issue. Meanwhile, Ronaldo Valdez's "Rico Torres" is the slightly perverted (eww the bed scenes, wth) CEO of a multi-million family who apparently loves his family but cannot stop from taking in various mistresses. And lastly, Hilda Koronel's "Regina Torres" is the alcohol-friendly legal wife who just takes it all in.

The script is superb if not for the climax that I predicted 15 minutes into the movie. But then I can't remember the last time a local film's ending managed to completely surprise me so it's not a big deal. There was a couple of confrontation scenes that just stole the whole show and I was grateful that they didn't skirt around the things that needed to be said and images needed to be seen.

Try as hard as I might, however, I cannot feel sorry for The Mistress's character even in her most trying and humiliating times. I just feel like, a woman like that is not stupid, she definitely knew what she was getting into. Given, she got attached and developed real strong feelings for an old rich man who may or may not be using her just for sex and companionship but what made her enter that kind of agreement in the first place?

"Walang babaeng pinangarap maging kabit!" 

Then why are there so many of them stuck in the same circumstances over and over again? See, in the middle of the fire, one can simply blame uncontrollable feelings but I'm pretty sure in the beginning, the feelings weren't that hard to block, if only people were determined to do so.

Feel free to establish how juvenile my views are if you must, that I have no credibility to say any of these things because I haven't been in these kinds of situation and felt the turmoil of such complexity. Maybe, maybe not.

I have been asked, multiple times, both jokingly and in semi-seriousness under the guise of innuendos, by very eligible in-a-relationship bachelors if I'd be willing to "be Number 2-3" and my answer was a resounding, without a second thought, no.

Personally, I think it all boils down to this. From Stephen Chbosky's Perks of Being A Wallflower,  this quote said it best.

"...we accept the love we think we deserve."

Of half-baked promises, stolen hours in the dead of the evening, saved number and messages in "the other phone", whispered phone conversations, scheduled meetings at random faraway places, the secrecy and the deceit.

If you think that is all that you deserve, then, by all means, go and be someone's mistress.

On Being SINGLE, Bad Dates, Macho Luxury Liners and Sarcastic Midgets 3 comments

So you're suddenly single. Or you've been single for a long time, maybe a few years or months, and at this time, you're probably wondering when you're going to find someone new. Someone that could elicit overly hyped up but undeniably true feelings only a special someone could. The pounding of the chest, the butterflies in the stomach, the anticipation of a brand new first kiss.

It's not that you're unhappy, there are definite perks in being as free as you can be, but it's also not like you're in heavenly bliss either. After the near suicidal physically-painful post-breakup era and the feeling of boundless freedom and excitement of meeting new acquaintances without the guilt of a jealous rage from your other half that comes afterwards, things have plateaued down into a consistent and stable blah. 

In a world of millions of lonely people, common sense would dictate that they should all just pair up and be happy. But there's nothing common nor sensical about love. In my experience (and probably everybody else's), it's either you don't like the person/persons who likes you or it's the other way around. Literature, theater, the film industry and lyric music are full of stories like these, and it's not without reason. For a feature film or a paperback novel, unrequited love is a goldmine that sucks everyone in but in reality, these circumstances just plain suck.

I've had my share of bad I-wish-I-didn't-agree-to-this dates that just made me miss the connection I had with someone from the past and really good ones that made me want to believe in freaking fairy tales and an assortment of Nicholas Sparks novels. But then, of course with my rotten luck and as with any tragic story that brings tears to the sentimental and joy to the sadists, things did not go the way I wished them to.

See, I probably am one of the few who jumped off the ship without having something to fall back on. Most people would make sure that they have another vessel to hop on to before they let go of a consistently reliable relationship. But that situation usually leads to deceit and overlapping of commitments and I'm really not the kind of woman who would finalize a board and pass to another without terminating an existing contract.

Okay, analogy overload. Forgive the hyperactive imagination.

It's like being stranded on a ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The motors are wrecked and you know you're going nowhere. The rooms are comfortable and it brings solace from the harsh waves of uncertainty but you know you'll be staying there for a looong time in the middle of vast nothingness if you don't leave now. What do you do?

Me? I foolishly wisely jumped off the ship with only a lifeboat, a paddle and my emergency kit of loyal friends and headed to a nearby island and learned how to make fire, eat alone and be friends with a volleyball named Wilson. Every once in a while a ship would pass through, manly honking their horns and blowing off steam in a macho way asking me to board their presented luxury liner but I refuse because it's either I see a band of pirates or their route is to somewhere I don't want to go to.

I'm not that paranoid, really. I almost boarded one, but then the ship sank before it even got the chance to sail so I just swam back to shore, wet and frustrated (wait, that didn't sound right), chopped a few trees just for kicks and went back to having meaningful and thought-provoking conversations with Wilson.

So, here we are. At the blah stage. In this island. Time has been good but circumstances have possessed me to build a great wall manned by an epic army of pellet-blasting plants and highly-armed midgets with a perpetual expression of I'm-surrounded-with-idiots on their faces to guard me and Wilson from pirates and passerby alike. Sometimes I spot a mighty ship float uncertainly near my area probably contemplating whether to risk the journey but then passes by just as quickly, intimidated by my midgets. Go figure.

Right now, the walls are higher and the guards are fiercer than ever. Picture all the armies of the different monarchies of The Seven Kingdoms, House Stark and Lannister together, with Khaleesi's full-grown fire-breathing dragons leading the pack and Tyrion Lannister (head midget) blasting out sarcastic quips (he wrote this post by the way) from a pedestal.

Not all hope is lost though. It may sound like I retreated to this impenetrable fortress and cursed all men into eternity of sexless pursuits and Gonorrhea but that's not the case. I still let visitors in, but it's not without my invisible dragons breathing on their back and sardonic imps carefully observing from their posts. 

I guess this is how it is to finally grow out of a fairy tale bubble.

The Avengers feat. Joss Whedon 0 comments

The Avengers. Seven heroes from different parts of the universe and genres, including a recently thawed all-American superhero, a self-made iron flying machine, a Norse God of lightning with his mighty hammer and a bunch of other characters I'm too ignorant to describe.

Pardon me for not being well-versed in the whole Marvel comic world (what's the name of that Bow Guy again? A friend just called him Black Hawk and I was tempted to add the word "Down" but then that's another movie.) but if there's one thing I know, it's Joss Whedon's works and his absolute brilliance.

It is no secret that I'm a huge fan of everything in the Whedonverse (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Dollhouse etc.) and watching The Avengers made me smile wistfully at all the little Joss-signiture quirks that I didn't know I was sorely missing. The whole movie was a trademark of his unparalleled wit and talent. I almost expected the whole gang to burst into song and dance number ala Buffy's Once More With Feeling and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Now, if there is one person who could pull a bunch of superheroes in costume do a sing-off, it would be this man.

The movie, besides the strong intelligent script and amusing dialogue, is also a visual masterpiece. I remember reading an article almost a decade back when Joss had to tweak a Buffy script because of budget restraints. This certainly wasn't a problem with this film because the eye-candy and non-stop action that the movie brings to hungry and expecting audience is nowhere near disappointing nor lacking.

I honestly don't know how to end this review, if it could be called a cohesive review in the first place because all I've managed to do is gush about Joss Whedon and all the marvelous neurons inside that balding head of his.

I guess the point of write-up is, the movie is great and you should all spend P200 to go watch it in cinemas because cam versions uploaded in streaming sites and torrent just won't cut it. 

Orchestr-o-meter: A

The Hunger Games (2012) Review: A Reader's Dream 2 comments

It's quite fitting that I haven't eaten for more than 24 hours when I found the time and waking neurons to catch the latest YA-Novel-to-bigscreen-superstardom flick of 2012. The Hunger Games is definitely one of the most anticipated movie of the year, and let me just say that all the hype and excitement surrounding the next-big-franchise was not a waste of time. Cower in your sparkly boots, Twilight, teenage angst will only get you so far, but a gripping story and strong independent characters will always prevail in the hearts of the thinking masses.

The movie opens with a sorrowful portrayal of District 12, showing scenes of poverty and destitution in shaky, head-aching angles that could only come from a camera man with a neurological disorder. But aside from the near-migraine I got from the style they decided on showing Suzanne Collin's world, I appreciated how the production made it a point to differentiate the way of life of poorer districts and the lavish colorful existence of those from the Capitol.

Enter the Capitol and the Hunger Games mission control center. From a film with a limited budget and a complicated world it has to portray, I think they succeeded in luring in the readers and giving their imagination the visual candy it deserves. Save for the disappointing silent screen Cornucopia scene (which I found terribly disappointing) and the bloody and violent killing moments which the production decided to soften by again putting their cameraman with uncontrolled spasms behind the lense, the movie portrayal was a success even for the whiniest and eyebrow-raising book fan that I am.

Strongest points of the film? The actors, without a doubt. Jennifer Lawrence played Katniss Everdeen perfectly. She carried the role with such power and social awkwardness that fits the character that I did not have to convince myself that she is the heroine in my mind while I was reading the book. The other actors also carried their own weight, although I do wish that Gale and his jawline managed to get more screen time. In the next movie, perhaps.

Weakest? They could have wrapped up the film more tightly, in my opinion. There are numerous scenes of morose lamentations and soul-searching stares that the 2 1/2 hours of the film could do without. I'm all for character development, really, but in a movie that boasts a televised arena where teenagers kill each other in order to survive, more action, less talk please.

End Note:

With the end of the wonderful and magical Harry Potter era and the closing of the sparkly slightly-homosexual vampire saga of Twilight later this year, this fan is happy to say that in a time of never-ending book adaptations, there is one that stayed surprisingly loyal to the prose. It didn't need to cut scenes nor add ones to make the film more interesting. Both the written and shot versions were superb and if that doesn't say the odds are definitely in our favor, then I don't know what does.

Orchestr-o-meter: A

Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) Review 4 comments

As much as I am a Twilight basher, I have shamelessly watched all the 3 previous movies and read the novels that came out of the franchise. Why? Just to have the right to have an opinion, mostly. I cannot insult what I know nothing about. Anyway, this was the year that I thought I would not be able to write my annual sarcasm-infused Twilight movie-of-the-year review because of time constraints, but 'lo and behold, here it is. I may not be my usual gritty self because of the crippling pain in my bleeding uterus, but I'll do my best.

For the record, I was not able to read the novel. Even the lure of using a new gadget and reading with my much anticipated iBooks app was not enough to make me endure the childish, whiny and self-centered contents of Bella Swan's thoughts. That, and of course, and Stephanie Meyer's horrid writing. I told myself that the movie was bound to be more interesting than the book, as with what happened when New Moon came out when the film actually made it seem that the literary version has a story to tell.

That said, with just the slightest idea of the plot as told by a friend, here is what I thought about the underworld's newest sparkly blockbuster hit.

First off, the movie started out like a bad fanfiction reenactment. I have read too many fan-made chapters of fluff and smut to know what cheesy plotlessness is and the first 30-45 minutes of Breaking Dawn Part I epitomizes just that. I have no idea which was taken from the book or were just put there for visual purposes, but no amount of cinematography could save almost an hour of teary-eyed parental goodbyes and PG-13 make-out sessions.

Side note: Honestly, what were Bella's parents on when they decided to let their just-graduated-from-high-school 18-year-old daughter marry an unemployed undergrad with a bad case of anemia? I mean, seriously. As far as I know, this isn't the 18th century where the only goal of a women in her life is to marry young and marry wealthy ala Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

Moving on, I have to give it up for Taylor Lautner for an awesome performance as always. Just when the audience was getting sick of all the make-out sessions with Bella and Edward on the beach, bed, waterfalls, sofa, beside a chess set, he comes in with just the right intensity before the whole films turns into vampire-themed porn. But seriously, Jacob Black was awesome in this movie, his almost photoshopped beach-ready human body is just as adorable with his cuddly It's-so-fluffy-I-wanna-die wolf form.

As for the plot, I really don't think the book needed to be split into two movies. There wasn't much that went on in this half and I feel that the movie would've have been actually great (action packed and with good pacing) if done in totality. It was not like in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where too much has happened that squeezing everything into one big production without the scenes being rushed is next to impossible. This is a classic example of big companies who want bigger profit in expense of quality and artistry.

Wait, quality and artistry? This is Twilight we're talking about, who am I kidding?

All in all, even having skipped the book, I believe the production has done all that they can with the little they have to work with. It has succeeded again in making the book more interesting even to non-fans with that cliffhanger ending. I may probably end up picking up where I left off, page 10 I think of the Breaking Dawn novel. 

Nah, probably not.

Orchestr-o-meter: C

No Other Woman (2011) Review and Hilarious One-Liners 2 comments

It's not that I don't like watching local mainstream films in the cinema, it's just that I don't think they're worth the money. I know that sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth. With streaming movies on the Internet and P50 pirated DVDs, at this day and age, you better make sure that you get what you're paying for when watching flicks straight from the big screen. The last local movie I've watched was Enteng Kabisote using a special promo ticket where we got to watch the film for free and sad to say, it's not even worth the P10 we paid for tax.

That said, I still can't believe I got dragged into this movie under the lure of spending time with co-volunteers and staff in the institution I am currently serving in. But surprisingly, for a local mainstream movie, it was pretty enjoyable, or just unintentionally funny, I can't be sure.

The strength of the movie lies in its script, this is an understatement. With a predictable plot (especially the cheesy I-saw-that-arc-a-mile-away-I-can't-believe-you're-using-that-scene-AGAIN ending) and lukewarm to just plain bad acting from its lead stars (Anne Curtis was an exception, she was phenomenal), it is the witty laugh out loud "banats" that people look for in this kind of movie, and boy, did it deliver.

The audience was roaring with laughter a quarter of the way into the film. Kudos to whoever the screenwriter was that thought of these great lines. (I can't remember the characters' names so I'll just put in the actor's names instead.)

NO OTHER WOMAN ONE-LINERS

Carmi Martin to Christine Reyes: Panahon na para i-pack-up ‘yang si Lucy Torres mo. Ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Sabi nga niya sa Magkaribal, ‘You want war? I’ll give you war.’ Anak, ako na ang bahala sa red stilettos mo!

Chrstine Reyes to Anne Curtis: Sabi nila, a way to a man’s heart s through his stomach.

Sa ganda mong yan, siguro madami kang alam na shortcuts.

Christine Reyes: Alam mo kasi ang marriage parang exclusive village.

Kailangan mong bantayan para hindi makapasok ang mga squatters.

Christine Reyes: Why don’t you have dinner with us tonight, pa thank you ko na rin dahil kinuha mo ang asawa ko.

Anne Curtis: I’m sorry?

Christine Reyes: Bilang supplier ng furniture para sa resort niyo.

Christine Reyes: Bikini mo ba iyan o balat mo? (referring to Anne’s snake-skin printed bathing suit)

Carmi Martin: Kung ahas siya mas ahas ako! Tahimik pero kapag kinanti – nanunuklaw! 

Christine Reyes: Baka makita mo pang nilalagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain mo. Joke lang. Medyo off yung humor ko lately.

Christine's Friend (forgot the name): Naku. Ganyan talaga kapag galing sa makating dikya, nagmamarka. (Referring to a kiss mark on Derek’s neck)

And the famous...

Carmi Martin: Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher, maagawan ka, lumaban ka!

Christine Reyes: Tsaka ano bang mahirap kalaban? Yung putang mahirap o yung putang mayaman?

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun!

My favorite line:

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun! Ang mayaman bumibili ng Hermes sa mall, ang mahirap bumibili ng Hermes sa Greenhills!

So yes, aside from these great lines, there's really nothing more this movie has to offer unless you think Derek Ramsey's sex scene with two different beautiful ladies add weight to the quality of the movie. Still, it's a great flick to watch with rowdy friends. You will all end up making fun of Christine Reyes' dramatic scene in the end and the disgustingly predictable ending. Good times.

Top 10 Glee Songs (Season TWO) 0 comments

10. Songbird (Santana)

Episode: Rumors

There's something about Santana's voice that is just breathtaking in this rendition of an old, almost never-before-heard song that this generation certainly doesn't know. Her heartfelt performance and superb tone just brings me chills.

9. Thriller / Heads Will Roll (New Directions)

Episode: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

I didn't really like this episode because not only did the plot felt forced but it was obvious that everything was written so it could wrap itself up to the climax of this performance. That said, it was still a great and energetic glee version of a decade's anthem.

8. Last Christmas (Rachel and Finn)

Episode: A Very Glee Christmas 

As much as I find the whole Rachel and Finn love arc quite boring and devoid of any kind of chemistry, this holiday duet brings fond memories of Christmas trees, food and presents every time I hear it play. Also, I love how the intro just screams Glee.

7. Get It Right (Rachel Berry)

Episode: Original Song

Of all the original tunes Glee managed to create, I think this one was the best.

6. Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer (New Directions)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Just kick ass. 'Nuff said.

5. Toxic (New Directions)

Episode: Britney / Brittany

It is in these kind of moments when I appreciate the covers Glee does to previously popular tunes. Remaking pink and fluffy pop song into something that could pass up as Jazz (complete with an equally awesome choreography) reminds me that not all remakes are complete waste of talent.

4. I Feel Pretty / Unpretty (Rachel and Quinn)

Episode: Born This Way

Of all the mash-ups Glee has done in its two seasons, this, I think is the best and the one most people can relate to. 

3. Teenage Dream (Warblers)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Darren Criss a.k.a. Harry freakin' Potter. Having to explain the sheer epicness of this song is insulting.

2. Rolling in the Deep (Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James)

Episode: Prom Queen

Adele song + a capella + Lea Michelle + Jonathan Groff  = Too beautiful for words.

1. Born This Way (New Directions)

Episode: Born This Way

I loved this video because of the message it brings to the world. I think the t-shirt labels are fantastic idea. Now, if only we could have local celebrities do a number like this, I think the world will be a less judgmental and more confident place.

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Will Continue On Living 4 comments

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will be leaving the theaters in a few weeks. By then, all billboards, posters and advertisements will be taken down and replaced with scantily clad models trying to sell bikinis in this monsoon season. Worse comes to worst, they will be replaced with Edward Cullen's bloodless face sparkling in the sunlight. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. Kill me already.

So is this really it? Is the epic journey over? Is our generation of quality literature and commendable role-model characters left orphaned by the conclusion of the film franchise? Will hormone induced sex-crazed supernatural teenagers take over the theaters, bookstore and Internet fandoms?

I don't think so.

I am a Harry Potter fan from the very beginning but I'm not one who fawns over movie premieres and merchandise. Offer me a genuine "wand" direct from the Hogwarts set and I won't know what to do with it. Gift me a shirt with Daniel Radcliffe's face on it and I probably won't wear it outside the house. But write me a superb, addicting and exceptionally-written story about any character in any place inside JK Rowling's magical world and I'll remember it forever.

Movie or no movie, it's the characters that I'm in love with together with the Wizarding World we have all lived in. It's the taste of Butterbeer in the coldness of winter, it's the unpredictability of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, the mystery in the secret rooms of Hogwarts, the childish pleasures of doing magic in the corridors and the comfort and warmth of snuggling by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It's the world in my head that makes Harry Potter special, not these million dollar productions. And it can and will survive without them.

See, the movie may have rolled its final credits, but Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is still very much alive in the hearts of many. As long as there is imagination, creativity, love and appreciation for the enthralling world we have lived in for more than a decade, Harry will continue on living in the childhood of this generation, and in the hearts of millions to come.

And in the future, decades after this day, if ever a grandchild catches me excitedly watching one of the eight movies or lovingly perusing with misty eyes a Harry Potter book, and asks me, "After all this time?"

To quote the Boy Who Loved, Severus Snape, my answer would be: "Always."

A Final Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II 5 comments

This may very well be the last time I would get to write a Harry Potter film review, for the highly successful franchise has cast its last spell and will be closing its curtains forever. There will be no casting choices left to  scrutinize, no deleted scenes to be angry about, no trailers to look forward to and no more movie date release to anticipate with bated breath.

It all ends with this.

And what a magical swan song it was. From the moment the WB logo floated onscreen up to the rolling of the credits, it was a thrilling spectacle ride for readers and non-fans alike. Having worshiped the books from the start, I am the kind of anal retentive movie-goer who frowns upon changed scenes and plot cuts. Fortunately, neither was rampant in this David Yates' masterpiece.

Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows was packed with action, spells and rubble from start 'till finish. One need not know what the bloody hell is happening just as long as one is aware that Harry's the protagonist and the bald guy with the non-existent nose is the evil one and it will still be enjoyable to watch. Even my Muggle  movie companion was mesmerized by the sheer brilliance of almost every scene. It was a breathtaking experience to witness the Wizarding World in shambles. One can really tell that this is the final hurrah and Harry is determined to go with a final bang.


THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS

The film wasted no time in trying to explain the complicated aspects of Wandlore nor Dumbledore's shady past, and for that I am grateful. There is no way you could explain that much information to an illiterate audience who did not even care to crack open a single Harry Potter book. Instead, the screenwriters decided to tone down the plot details and hyped up the chaos and pandemonium, which translated better on the big screen. It was a wise decision indeed.

And as our heroic Trio found themselves back in Hogwarts, the plot and my heart took flight. This was it. This was the moment we've all been waiting for. The Great Battle. The ultimate war between the power of love and love of power. And I think every reader could attest that there was distinct feeling of thrill, exhilaration and awe upon watching the scene unfold right before our very eyes.

As with the book, the moment Professor McGonagall animated the once lifeless suits of armors and exclaimed, "Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect us!"  and the remaining faculty started to take matters in their own hands and use their highly developed skills in magic, chills ran down my spine. 

There is something astounding about finally seeing rather than just imagining. The impressive protective sphere, the spells, the fire, the rubble, the smoke and the thundering music set the perfect atmosphere for the raging battle that has yet to come. I could not have asked for a better set design. This was the battle of all battles, the final duel between good and evil, and it sure felt like it.

The scenes were reasonably paced, with the hunt of Ravenclaw's lost diadem, the Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement, the duels and the overall pandemonium inside the once peaceful halls of Hogwarts. It all blended together in this wonderful adrenaline-induced cacophony that could make Lord of the Rings proud.

THE PRINCE'S TALE

A review of Deathly Hallows Part II would not be complete without the mention of the unbelievably accurate portrayal of Alan Rickman to the endlessly complex and brilliant character that is Severus Snape. I will admit, the chapter entitled "The Prince's Tale" of the 7th book is my most read chapter in the entire series. I prefer my characters complicated, dark and with a secret that could shatter thousands of hearts, and that is exactly what JK Rowling did with our once hated Potions Master. 

Before the release of Deathly Hallows the novel, I remember all the talks behind the power of Harry's green eyes, because in countless of interviews, our queen creator has mentioned that it will play a big role in the final book. Nobody could understand it and probably very few speculations got it right. The shock that it was not some supernatural power never before witnessed by the Wizarding world but just, yet again, the uncontainable force of love, blew me away. And reduced me to a blubbering goopy mess the moment Harry stepped out of the Pensieve.

It is for this reason that I fell in love with this character who was often described as greasy and bat-like. Because it shows that everybody hurts, yet everybody loves. And no matter how despicable a certain person looks from the outside, if you just care to look a bit further, there would be always something there that could surprise you.

Okay, then. Now back to the movie.

THE FLAW IN THE PLAN

I think the only criticism I could give is that the closing battle at Hogwarts (the one which transpired after Harry came back to life) was underwhelming at best. Where were the centaurs, who upon seeing Harry's lifeless body decided to take a stand and fight against Voldemort? Where were the House Elves who have valiantly left the kitchens to stab Death Eaters in the ankles with paring knives? Where were the ordinary village people of Hogsmeade who overcame their fear of the Dark Lord, left their barrels of butterbear and came to fight alongside the wounded students of Hogwarts?

I know no single feature film could meet the millions of wild imaginations, all of which have created their own version of the epic final battle in their heads, but I just feel like these details shouldn't have been left out. It was the turning point in the book, showing how united the Wizarding World was in defeating a powerful tyrant. I regret to say that it was the only part of the film that felt sloppy and hastily made. 

However, I do understand why the producers felt there has to be an intense one-on-one battle slash chase scene between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort, with both running around the castle physically trying to destroy each other ala Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader's final Lightsaber match. It's a cinematic staple, a sort of movie template every great archenemies are expected to have.

However, in this case, I can't help but feel how out of character those scenes were. First of all, never could I remember imagining Voldemort run, much less chase Harry around Hogwarts. A little longer and I would have expected both to be pulling each other's hair, if Voldemort had hair.

But still, epicness prevailed. The ultimate end of Voldemort was much more silent than I anticipated, with just the wands doing all the talking, but the concluding image of the once feared sorcerer slowly dissolving to ashes was a satisfying image. 

NINETEEN YEARS LATER

And it all came to a full circle.

Platform 9 3/4: In the middle of the busy bustling train station filled with families and cages of various kinds of pets, we see them.


Ginny sporting Mom Hair, Harry looking basically the same, some random kids who are supposed to be James and Lily (both of whom nobody really cares about) and then there he was... Albus Severus Justin Potter Bieber.

Then there was Ron with his beer belly, Hermione who also looked quite the same and Draco Malfoy who just looked... weird.

The next generation of talented mischief managing wizards were on their way to Hogwarts. And we were left with the image of our beloved trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione looking wistfully on.

As a fan, I expected a lot and quite honestly, those expectations were mostly met. The film is a perfect mix of action, suspense, horror, comedy and a little bit of romance. It has a heart as big as Harry's, wit as sharp as Hermione's and loyalty to the novel that could make Ron proud. 


Thank you for giving the end of my childhood justice.


Orchestr-o-meter: Thousand points to David Yates & Co. !

Something Borrowed (Book vs. Movie Review) & Something Blue by Emily Giffin 0 comments

It is a rare and momentous occasion for someone like me to have watched a movie adaptation of a novel before actually reading the book. It may be no big deal for some but it has been an unwritten rule for myself and the tradition has never been altered since Day 1. Except for this.

Something Borrowed, a best-selling novel penned by Emily Giffin, is a story about a 30-year-old type A plain-Jane lawyer who happens to have an affair with her best friend's fiancé. Being the Maid of Honor in the ceremony and a life-long friend of the bride, conflicts arise as she works out her feelings about what she wants and what she is tasked to do. The movie adaptation was released early this May starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield and John Krasinski.

Having watched the movie first before reading the novel, it was surprising for me to find out that the film adaptation strayed farther than expected from the original plot, and it worked. The added plot ornamentations and character replacements worked quite brilliantly, as a matter of fact. Normally, these circumstances would have been a source of irritation when I watch the characters who have played in my head in different light, but this time, I thought the plot moved at a better pace and the characters were more likable on screen compared to their written form.

It is commendable how the screenwriter added a history between Rachel and Dex, making the affair much more reasonable. I think Ginnifer Goodwin did a terrific job portraying Rachel and made the choices she had more understandable to the viewing public. However, let it be said that John Krasinski absolutely stole the show, delivered all the best lines and almost single-handedly made the movie enjoyable to watch. The interesting thing about this is that his role isn't even that prominent in the book. Rachel's primary confidante about her forbidden relationship with Dex is actually female colleague. Which is unfortunate because it's Ethan's character that drove me to read the actual novel.

Speaking of novels, part two of this heartfelt and easy to read chic lit is Something Blue. We follow Darcy as she goes through her life with (spoiler!) the discovery of her best friend's treachery with her very own fiance and Marcus' baby in her womb. Told entirely in Darcy's shallow but endearing POV, we get a glimpse of the self-absorbed socialite Rachel has been ranting about during the previous book. Here we find out that there is more to the New York queen bee that meets the eye. 

The only criticism I have about the novel is that it felt like the plot just started to take off halfway through the book when Darcy decides to head on to England and crash in her childhood friend Ethan's pad. The plot was fairly predictable, but that did not lessen the enjoyment one should get while reading the novel. As a slow and easily distracted reader nowadays, I finished my e-book copoy in less than 48 hours and loved every minute of it.

Something Borrowed and Something Blue. Two novels about romance gained and lost and the two ultimate forces that drives us all, love and friendship. Read 'em and weep.

Orchestr-o-meter:

Something Borrowed (Film Adaptation) : A-

Something Borrowed (Novel): B

Something Blue (Novel): A

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Review): Based on a True Story of Everyone 20 comments

High School. Sort of.

Dark skinned, with glasses and braces = the complete cliche package of an ugly girl falls in love with unbelievably handsome and charming upperclassman. Of course he has to be perfect in every way possible, all sensitive and artistic (but athletic and hot at the same time) while she is the clumsy nerd in the shadows.

The movie opens up with Nam's quirky group of friends and a teacher who is too straightforward for her own good. A few juvenile scenes of picking out crushes, passing notes during class and stolen glimpses and suddenly, the story becomes all too familiar.

All those enchantment-believing, book-reading and daydreaming moments could might as well be anybody else's story and it was that gravitation to something so recognizable to all, I think, that made this movie so popular and endearing to people who have a heart and once used it for something no matter how one-sided and futile the experience was.

But of course the lead character must shed off her veil of ugliness and become this pretty swan in a matter of a few months. Any story set on screen could definitely not end with the Prince Charming falling in love with the still visually despicable commoner! The transformation was so dramatic I had to Google if two different actresses played her part. 

I found it bothersome how society (apparently even in Thailand) entails that for a character to be noticed and loved, she has to be physically beautiful. Yes it's nice that after a lot of name-callings and schoolyard torture, the caterpillar that we have grown accustomed to has wreathed out of her cocoon and transformed into a beautiful butterfly. But still, wouldn't it be more interesting, and inspiring even, if the Prince Charming and the ordinary girl had their happily ever after without some cliche make-over / metamorphosis in the middle to make everything easier on the eyes?

For me, it was a rocky road from the moment Nam became painfully beautiful. She suddenly lost her adorable awkward charm and it was not as interesting seeing her being fawned upon by random schoolmates. Fortunately, the story picked up near the ending with humiliating confessions, predictable heartbreak and some flipping through a black book.

Overall, it is a must-see for everyone who have gone through high school and/or puberty. I guaranty you will relieve those tiled school halls with such clarity it's disconcerting. The trailer got it right when it said that it is based on a true story of everyone. And I find myself agreeing with that claim. At least for the first 30 minutes. ;)

Orchestr-o-meter: A

Closer (2004) 2 comments

If you believe in love at first sight... Take a closer look.

To call this movie a 'love story' is simply misleading because people might expect flowers, light kisses and rainbows. But it is a story about love and all the things that come with it, and a provocative one at that.

Closer delves into the lives of four individuals who managed to get their feelings entangled up in each others' businesses. It is a searing story of betrayal, lies and deceit as well as uncontrollable yearning and obsession. The characters are captivating in their own ways and it gives a slightly distorted image on how relationships are formed and broken on this day and age.

The impeccable performance of the lead and supporting cast and the brilliant script is what made the movie work. It is a film devoid of action scenes and romantic cheesiness, but the story is intact and the characters are engaging. Raw emotion just shines through the screen I found myself intoxicated with it.

I would also like to commend the film for its ingenious scene blueprint, as the audience is only presented with moments where the characters are in crisis. The fluff and 'joy' of the story is left out leaving a constant intensity that holds the viewer's rapt attention with ease.

The ending may leave some scratching their heads if one is not paying attention to a specific scene. Some may even be disappointed if one is looking for a finale with a bang, but I, personally, adored the power in simplicity and the utmost passion of the whole 104 minutes.

The soundtrack did not veer far from it's mother ship. "The Blower's Daughter" sung by Damien Rice is a consuming song with brutal lyrics and a haunting melody. It is featured throughout the film and will leave you yearning for more when the credits roll.

All in all, one of the most intense film I've seen in recent years as it is saturated not only with astonishing confrontations and sex, but with overwhelming passion and emotions as well.

Orchestr-o-meter: A

Red Riding Hood (2011) Review 0 comments

I never thought I would see the day where a not-so-little Red Riding Hood, in her conservative medieval outfit, dance promiscuously to modern alternative music and make-out with a guy upon a haystack.

But I did. Yesterday. And, honestly, it wasn't as bad as I expected.

The wolf is at it again, killing innocent maidens in the remote village of Medieval Clichedom, complete with straw houses, wheelbarrows and 14th century wardrobe. Amanda Seyfried's character Valerie is in love with her childhood friend while engaged to another man by her parents' will. Her sister had just been killed by the werewolf and the world is all black and gloomy. This is accentuated by a run through thorny trees.

Enter a Priest slash Werewolf Expert with two surprisingly black bodyguards and the plot takes off into this whirlwind of betrayal, seduction and emo music.

Unfortunately, the movie fails in most parts. The characters are flat and the performances of the actors are lackluster, I didn't really connect with them and did not care whether one lives or dies. The set looks amateurish and fake and the music and cinematography are Twilight rip offs. Wait, with the out-of-context and somehow forced almost-sex-scene in the middle of the movie, I felt like I must be watching a Breaking Dawn dream scene.

The film's strength lies on its Who-Is-The-Werewolf plot. And I must say, the ending was pretty unexpected for most viewers (unless you happen to unintentionally spoil yourself while reading a friend's status on Facebook, like me). The seemingly insignificant scenes wrapped up nicely into this matrix of lies and cunning plans that brought everyone in their proper place at the end is admirable at best.

In the end, it's a fairly decent movie, if you don't mind the Emo-Sappy Twilight feel and doze-worthy characterization. It's a refreshingly dark twist to a fairy tale loved by many. I, for one, is looking forward to a Gothic take on the classic Cinderella tale, preferably from the original Brothers Grimm version, where one of the stepsisters eye gets eaten by a bird and the stepmother commands her daughter to cut off her toes for her foot to be able to fit in the glass slipper. But that's just me.

Orchestr-o-meter: B-