Sunday, July 4, 2010

10. Everyday is Foundation Day in the make-up trailers of all the actors in the Cullen family.

9. Taylor Lautner's confident smirks beat Robert Pattinson's I-must-speak-in-hoarse-brooding-voice-at-all-times-while-barely-opening-my-mouth motto hands down.

8. Kristin Stewart delivers her line in the same sarcastic tone whether she's happy, sad, terribly worried or having an epileptic fit.

7. Twilight werewolves are cuddly as their vampires are sparkly. Will gladly exchange the ripped Jacob to a fluffy version.

6. Must not vent up feelings of frustration over the incredible stupidity of the books and the flatness of its characters while in line to get tickets. Will get dirty looks.

5. Screenwriter (Melissa Rosenberg) was really good. She wrote funnier dialogue and made it seem like the book has a plot and not at all just filled with Bella's tortured musings about platonic love for Jacob and Edward's perfect sparkling perfectness.

4. Teenagers are the most annoying species of all. They scream at everything, from Jacob's abs to Bella's let's-have-premarital-sex whines to Edward's will-you-marry-me speech. In short, they screamed the entire movie.

3. Wondered if I was that annoying when I was a teen. Decided I probably was.

2. Twilight fans come in swarms. Like bees buzzing and hovering everywhere until you feel claustrophobic and itchy. From allergy.

... and the No.1 thing I learned while watching Eclipse is..

1. The Twilight world can be deemed decent enough for public consumption without damaging any brain cells, provided that there are special effects involved, we don't see it through Bella's love crazed eyes and that Stephenie Meyer did not write it.

By the way, just for the record, I am Team Potter.


iamkris said...

i really love this post Athena <3 you are a Goddess! *i felt the same way*

Clarriscent said...

Thanks Kris! Aww, we both are goddesses! :))

Anonymous said...

i respect your opinion but u shouldn't watch it in the first place, if u feel unsatisfied about the outcome of the movie..

Clarriscent said...

@Anonymous: Umm, how would I know what I would feel about the movie if I don't watch it in the first place?

ilakkia pandian said...

i absolutely agree with "the list" amazingly boring book brought into beautiful characters and beautiful Forks..(only the first movie is to be given full credit for this much craziness around the follow-ups)

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