Top 5 Cliches of Local Teleseryes

Ever noticed how local teleseryes have the same plot, aired over and over again just via different titles and "It" actors of the month, or no plot at all?

Well, I did too and in the years that I've spent airing lamentations and quips to family members who were unfortunate enough to be beside me while watching local programs, I think it's time to actually put these thoughts on paper so that they will finally leave me be.

Here I present the Top 5 Cliches of Local Teleseryes regardless of being Kapuso, Kapamilya, Kapatid, Kamag-anak, Katropa, Kabalitaan at Kakampi etc.

5. Defying Laws of Physics. I know that the the special effects here in the country is not that advanced, but still, it's not an excuse for the numerous reality twisting scenes I've seen on local television in the seldom times I wasted my time in front of it. From Agua Bendita's tears trickling down her cheeks while she's supposedly UNDERWATER, to mid-air action scenes which look anything but, I wish the production crew would pay attention more to the details of their output rather than the way Marian Rivera's curls are supposed to be moving in the breeze.

4. Greenwhich got it right when it said on its commercial: "Paboritong Eksena ng mga Pilipino: SAMPALAN". While TV series on other countries settle their disputes via court hearings and reputation destroying Internet posts and texts, ours do it in a more primitive, in-your-face-literally way with matching enthusiastic hair-pulling.

3. "Luke, I am your father." Star Wars got nothing on the bewildering family trees of Philippine TV dramas. The scene where the lead character finds out that her true father is her best friend's stepdad but really is her lover's sperm donor back in 1980 when he had a one-night stand with the mother who turned out to be his real aunt is not at all surprising anymore. Just confusing, really.

2. Middle-class citizens do not exist. The world (or at least our country) is composed of high bred elitists with haciendas, 20 cars of different sought-after brands and a billion peso corporation headed by one insanely rich clan. On the other side of the spectrum, there is this dirt poor family with mothers in dusters and fried fish on the table. All their children are heaven sent because they study hard and respect their elders even though they don't have enough money to buy everything they need..

Let us not forget the eternal SOP of these drama series that Poor = GOOD (except your occasional armed tattooed goons) and Rich = EVIL (except one member of the family, preferably the good looking hunk who falls in love with the poor perfect protagonist). [see item #1]

 

...and the No.1 Cliche of Local Philippine TV Drama is:

1. The protagonist is a faultless creature of excellence (preferably coming from the poverty-stricken sector of the society). She is undeniably virtuous and brave, smart and persevering, and she is generous to the point of giving everything even though she hasn't got much. She is beautiful inside and out and a lot of people are envious on how her inner light radiates from her smile and kind nature.

 

She has no flaws, and even though she is always punished and humiliated by someone with more money and a garage of cars, there is no sinful thought in her brain because she understands, she endures and she asks god for help whenever things get hard. She fights back but not in a way that would tarnish her perfection. She will undoubtedly enter heaven and be canonized as a saint decades later.

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I just want to make it clear that I am not ridiculing the standards of the entertainment industry, but cliches are cliches for a reason, and one of those reasons is that they are (mostly) true. Hopefully, this article will make someone smile and help push the industry to be better in more creative ways. Cheers.